Never do you expect it - a death on vacation.
After my cousin's wedding - Michele and I went from a high to a tremendous low as we had an emergency. My sister and I had to rush Michele into emergency and we were shocked to find out we lost had a fourth miscarriage.
This one was more visceral and more difficult. I saw our baby.
I went into shock over the whole thing. Every emotion coursed through my heart: anger, sadness, grief, bewilderment, shock, bitterness, thankfulness (for the help), despair...
I admit, it's going to take a lot for me to get over this. Nothing prepared Michele and I for this. The pregnancy was going well. Not doctor, or clue indicated otherwise. Then this happens on vacation. I felt like Job. Having everything stripped away only to never see the ending of this past two years.
This miscarriage was even more difficult considering there's no conclusion. There's not burial, no ceremony...it's a nebulous, unmarked territory you have to deal with. Frankly, I don't want to hear, "...my aunt went through twelve miscarriage and you'll come out." How many losses makes one less painful than others.
Honestly, I think I'll snap if I hear some careless effort of comfort. It's literally like losing your own child...without burying them.
I sobbed driving. I cry at a drop of a hat. This one is extremely difficult.