I spent some time last weekend with some children in an urban outreach.
They were kids from the poorer section of the surrounding area, but you look and honestly spend time with them you realize they just need something simple: love, affirmation, and a sense of security.
I look back at my life and realize the wisdom of two parents in a family unit. That's why I believe God always said entering marriage is such a serious matter because it's not about two people getting along, or not. It's about your commitment, and that commitment will be tested, but more importantly it affects the children permanently.
My father wasn't perfect, but he is what God gave and I am very appreciative of that matter. I am the man I am because of him. My father's wisdom echoes in my head today, but I always knew he would look out for us. He would fight for us, he would sacrifice for us and he spent his life for others.
I wished my father and I had more common interest and wished we spent more time now, but if there's one thing I knew it was this: he was there. A memory serves me well.
At K-Mart there was these cool soldier toys figurines that I desperately wanted. Our family was shopping and my father said no. Little did I know my father just didn't have any discretionary spending money like our federal government. I tried to 'earn' my father's favor my washing dishes during dinner - mind you I was about 8.
I didn't see the army figurines for quite some time, and then a few weeks later they showed up. I grabbed them like Jack Sparrow grabbing gold.
My dad came through.
And it meant so much to me. I recall that memory and I am sad that he is really gone. No more thanks to him.
Recently my sister told me he loved Korean beef. It just grabbed my dad's taste like it never before.
If I had one opportunity I'd fly him to Korea and go on a culinary feast, but my father would scold me for that spending. I do wish I could go back to California and find the best Korean beef bbq and blow several hundred dollars on my dad.
Looking back at my dad's sacrifices I think an entire bank account would be justifiable. My father died a quiet life. Without fanfare and he slipped into eternity without much notice.
Father, you were the not perfect. I saw your flaws, but in your life as your son I am so proud you are my father - this life you gave was the result of your life. I hope I live to make you proud.
Apr 30, 2010
Apr 8, 2010
A name reserved for you
English Standard Version (©2001) REV 2:17
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.’
A new name - you ever wonder about that? What's THAT about? God gives names to people plenty of times - 'Abram' to 'Abraham'. Always designating a new identity and purpose.
This time last year, I lost my baby girl. We had to end her pregnancy and yesterday I cried quietly to myself. I found myself wiping tears away, and the reality of my losses struck me. Michele and I thought we would keep the names we had for our possible future kids, but this week we decided to reserve them for our two children who went to be with God.
'Abigail' and 'Asher' will never be used in our household. They have been used because they were our children. I cannot look at them as a 'number' or a 'statistic'. I will speak of them as though I held them, and I did: in my heart. As a father, the loss of Abigail and Asher strikes me hard. Abigail was more difficult because we had to end the ectopic pregnancy.
Asher means 'rejoicing and strength at the gates'
Abigail meant 'father of exaltation' and 'beauty'. It's the most overlooked character in the bible, and quite possibly the woman who set David back on his path as king because of her reminder of what our destiny can be. For David, it was Abigail who reminded him of God's plan for him to be king when David just literally had a 'moment of meltdown'.
Next week, Thursday we said goodbye to our little Abigail.
Yet, I know Abigail and Asher might be wondering what new name God gave to them. I'll know one day, and God will probably give them better names, but I hope He liked my names.
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.’
A new name - you ever wonder about that? What's THAT about? God gives names to people plenty of times - 'Abram' to 'Abraham'. Always designating a new identity and purpose.
This time last year, I lost my baby girl. We had to end her pregnancy and yesterday I cried quietly to myself. I found myself wiping tears away, and the reality of my losses struck me. Michele and I thought we would keep the names we had for our possible future kids, but this week we decided to reserve them for our two children who went to be with God.
'Abigail' and 'Asher' will never be used in our household. They have been used because they were our children. I cannot look at them as a 'number' or a 'statistic'. I will speak of them as though I held them, and I did: in my heart. As a father, the loss of Abigail and Asher strikes me hard. Abigail was more difficult because we had to end the ectopic pregnancy.
Asher means 'rejoicing and strength at the gates'
Abigail meant 'father of exaltation' and 'beauty'. It's the most overlooked character in the bible, and quite possibly the woman who set David back on his path as king because of her reminder of what our destiny can be. For David, it was Abigail who reminded him of God's plan for him to be king when David just literally had a 'moment of meltdown'.
Next week, Thursday we said goodbye to our little Abigail.
Yet, I know Abigail and Asher might be wondering what new name God gave to them. I'll know one day, and God will probably give them better names, but I hope He liked my names.
Apr 4, 2010
Wisdom
New International Version
let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance--
When I turned about thirty I learned something: you should listen to people and when people come across your life: watch, observe and ask. There's a treasure trove of wisdom to be gained even from those who are failures (don't copy their habits or decision making) - so before you become critical and think you're smarter than they are - watch, listen and observe.
My definition of a fool: A fool is a person who refuses to learn even when one stumbles across people that grace your life for a reason and provides insight, and wisdom to enrich your life.
Over the course of Easter I learned something from my nieces and nephew that I've lost when my children died: the joy of play and life. Simple giggles, and the joy of play must never be overlooked. Thank you Grant, Ella, and Maddie - because of you this weekend I forgot my loss and learn to keep that boy in myself. I'll remember running like a fool holding your hands in the mall.
I look back at Tim and Corey who set me on a fiscal mind-set that allowed me to start real-estate investments and financially planning early. Because of them I started a 401k early and started an investment mind-set.
Aside from pure beginner's luck it was their fiscal fervor that set me to take the savings my wife and I set aside for a home and get a return on stocks last year (in a year when everyone was running from investments). It was also that open ear that gave me the decision to not buy a home before the economy's collapse. Because of my friends and God hitting my head hard my wife and I are debt-free, 401ks started for the both of us ten years ago and a nice down-payment on a new home when we're ready to buy. If it wasn't for God's blessing I'd be where I was in college: an idiot who ran up credit card debt.
My father-in-law, here's a man who is a gift. Former CFO, I pick his brain when I have to make fiscal decisions or when I need someone to bounce an idea off. His advice is always advice, he shares his perspective, but never told me what to do. God knows there's plenty of people who should tap this man's wealth of knowledge of finances because the man does it for a living. I'd be a fool to not ask him some things.
My sisters. Only because of the passing of my father I've learned so much from my sisters. From Cindy's positive attitude despite life's trials to the servant-heart of Doris - my sisters inspires me weekly. These sisters are amazing....
My wife. She's the counter-balance in my life on so many levels. I'd be a fool to not bounce the decisions of life because God placed her in my life.
The numerous examples she is to give me wise counsel has been a tremendous blessing. One example is my wife taught me the principle of 'outrageous giving' is a sure-fire remedy for money problems. I found with many people in financial problems you can never have enough - when you start giving away it forces you to manage your money and maximize your resources. I've learned the art of 'deals' - this weekend my brother-in-law ribbed me for winning stuff more than anyone: a free laptop, a free digital camera, a free vacation…I'll take ribbing for freebies any day.
I'm a knuckle head. I didn't learn when i was young, it was only when God really stepped into my life and opened my eyes to the wisdom of Proverbs: 'let the wise listen and add to their learning' that incredible change took place.
There's a treasure trove of people and resources around us and God placed them there for a reason.
I've found one thing true: there's not a single person I've not been able to glean some wisdom, some lesson or some inspiration from.
let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance--
When I turned about thirty I learned something: you should listen to people and when people come across your life: watch, observe and ask. There's a treasure trove of wisdom to be gained even from those who are failures (don't copy their habits or decision making) - so before you become critical and think you're smarter than they are - watch, listen and observe.
My definition of a fool: A fool is a person who refuses to learn even when one stumbles across people that grace your life for a reason and provides insight, and wisdom to enrich your life.
Over the course of Easter I learned something from my nieces and nephew that I've lost when my children died: the joy of play and life. Simple giggles, and the joy of play must never be overlooked. Thank you Grant, Ella, and Maddie - because of you this weekend I forgot my loss and learn to keep that boy in myself. I'll remember running like a fool holding your hands in the mall.
I look back at Tim and Corey who set me on a fiscal mind-set that allowed me to start real-estate investments and financially planning early. Because of them I started a 401k early and started an investment mind-set.
Aside from pure beginner's luck it was their fiscal fervor that set me to take the savings my wife and I set aside for a home and get a return on stocks last year (in a year when everyone was running from investments). It was also that open ear that gave me the decision to not buy a home before the economy's collapse. Because of my friends and God hitting my head hard my wife and I are debt-free, 401ks started for the both of us ten years ago and a nice down-payment on a new home when we're ready to buy. If it wasn't for God's blessing I'd be where I was in college: an idiot who ran up credit card debt.
My father-in-law, here's a man who is a gift. Former CFO, I pick his brain when I have to make fiscal decisions or when I need someone to bounce an idea off. His advice is always advice, he shares his perspective, but never told me what to do. God knows there's plenty of people who should tap this man's wealth of knowledge of finances because the man does it for a living. I'd be a fool to not ask him some things.
My sisters. Only because of the passing of my father I've learned so much from my sisters. From Cindy's positive attitude despite life's trials to the servant-heart of Doris - my sisters inspires me weekly. These sisters are amazing....
My wife. She's the counter-balance in my life on so many levels. I'd be a fool to not bounce the decisions of life because God placed her in my life.
The numerous examples she is to give me wise counsel has been a tremendous blessing. One example is my wife taught me the principle of 'outrageous giving' is a sure-fire remedy for money problems. I found with many people in financial problems you can never have enough - when you start giving away it forces you to manage your money and maximize your resources. I've learned the art of 'deals' - this weekend my brother-in-law ribbed me for winning stuff more than anyone: a free laptop, a free digital camera, a free vacation…I'll take ribbing for freebies any day.
I'm a knuckle head. I didn't learn when i was young, it was only when God really stepped into my life and opened my eyes to the wisdom of Proverbs: 'let the wise listen and add to their learning' that incredible change took place.
There's a treasure trove of people and resources around us and God placed them there for a reason.
I've found one thing true: there's not a single person I've not been able to glean some wisdom, some lesson or some inspiration from.