IT'S NOT EASY...AND I KNOW WHY
To my Michele,
I know recently it's hasn't been easy and I know why...
It's hasn't been easy with the kids with their special needs, but I see it because your heart is so big for those kids. You want to see some hope, some quality of life for them, and that's why I love you: you care.
It's hasn't been easy being patient with the teacher, but I see it because you care enough that the kids getting the best possible education. You haven't lost your focus either because you see clearly when you smile a kid is in good hands (Annie's mom) and that's why I love you: things matter.
It hasn't been easy dealing with the kids either, but I see it because you have the strength, patience and compassion to work in a job where most people would shut these kids away; and that's why I love you: you show Jesus to me - where others would close their eyes, ears and heart to these kids you reach out to them.
It hasn't been easy juggling a busy schedule, but I see your commitment to me, and your role as a wife, and that's why I love you because you are dedicated.
It hasn't been easy doing all those things: cleaning, cooking, preparing lunches and that's why I love you because you work so hard.
Life hasn't been easy, but you choose to do the difficult things, and that's why I love you...you are noble in heart and don't take the easy way out. You endure with diginity and nobility and that's why I love you my royal princess.
But when life seem to be one wave after another of things NOT-SO-EASY, there are easy to things that DO come in life.
That Easy Thing is this: I can easily say, "I love you, and am so, so proud of you."
Jan 30, 2008
Miracles!
I have to say: you cannot understand the power of prayer. You just sit back shrug, and give the thanks to God.
Two major miracles.
My sister is one. After serious head trauma, we were not looking at a good prognosis - my sister was encountering a future of blackouts, and possible serious brain damage. Many people have been praying for my sister and she was encountering surgery in the future. Without going into the details it's one of those situations where you hope for the best, but there's a certain trepidation.
THEN GOD TURNS THE TABLE: She visits the neuro-surgeon and director a one of the top ten neuroscience hospitals in the entire country and the summary is: Go home, in a year your symptoms will be ok. You shouldn't ever have to see my face again. I've seen cases like this on a daily basis and you're A-OK. No surgery by the way!
Two. A friend loses his job after a few weeks of being married and then in the middle of the recession after much prayer and encouragement - THEN GOD TURNS THE TABLE AGAIN: He gets a job in the middle of a recession!
God has truly been good. I cannot tell you the peace, and glory to know God is in control. I also know there's certain prayers that never gets answered - and its usually because we ask admist- with selfish tendencies. I know I've been guilty of that, but today I give the credit, thanks to a Living God.
Two major miracles.
My sister is one. After serious head trauma, we were not looking at a good prognosis - my sister was encountering a future of blackouts, and possible serious brain damage. Many people have been praying for my sister and she was encountering surgery in the future. Without going into the details it's one of those situations where you hope for the best, but there's a certain trepidation.
THEN GOD TURNS THE TABLE: She visits the neuro-surgeon and director a one of the top ten neuroscience hospitals in the entire country and the summary is: Go home, in a year your symptoms will be ok. You shouldn't ever have to see my face again. I've seen cases like this on a daily basis and you're A-OK. No surgery by the way!
Two. A friend loses his job after a few weeks of being married and then in the middle of the recession after much prayer and encouragement - THEN GOD TURNS THE TABLE AGAIN: He gets a job in the middle of a recession!
God has truly been good. I cannot tell you the peace, and glory to know God is in control. I also know there's certain prayers that never gets answered - and its usually because we ask admist- with selfish tendencies. I know I've been guilty of that, but today I give the credit, thanks to a Living God.
Jan 28, 2008
Free Will Awe and Wonder
Free Will Awe and Wonder
I was looking at Michele this weekend and it occured to me: the gift of free will - choosing to bind yourself to someone.
Then it got me thinking - when we fail to see the GIFT of FREE WILL - we lose the humility and awe of it. What I mean is that the greatest experience a person can experience is another's will and desire to say, "I choose you."
It's a humbling consideration. Michele's choice out of all the men in the world to pledge her life to - she selected me. That's a humbling thought. I'm NOT the godliest, brightest, richest, or best-looking man out of a billion men out there. Love is NOT an entitlement.
BUT we do think love is an ENTITLEMENT, something we are owed. That's why we can complain about our spouses, or moan about their shortcomings because we lost sight of FREE WILL. We whine, complain because we now think we are ENTITLED to something. The mere endurance of our spouse with our weaknesses, our offenses alone should shake us back to a sense of humility: they love me out of FREE WILL.
We quickly forget about God in this manner too.
We will question and challenge God about alot of things - (Why is their suffering? Why does injustice happen children? Why do good people die? to which alot of these questions we don't have an answer for) but a greater question that we should consider is: Why does God love us?
God has a choice too - a free will.
Does he have to put up with the heartache, angst and short-comings we are to him? People automatically think God OWES them something. We are a whole earth of self-centered, self-loving lemmings thinking we are so loveable like puppies at pet fair. God MUST pick us and love us because we have so many good qualities! Oh what a childish consideration!!!
Did forget we've created a world where there is suffering, heartaches and misery around us? We offend so easily!
God should find very little to enjoy in our company - we are not his equal and never can be. We don't have sovereign right to say HE OWES us love, as we are to say in courtship with our spouses: you OWE ME your love.
Love is something most people think God owes us. When things don't go right, we blame God, we doubt Him, we accuse Him and we dare question Him. God is a superior being to us and we non-chalantly question him like a bickering spouse.
We can WIN the love our spouses, but there is nothing in us to 'win' God's love. God was the one who had to make the first step to WIN our love. It's like the hymn writer said, "We love him, because he first loved us."
God has a rightful choice to extinguish our existence by holding his breath from us. He could have started history from scratch, and pull the 'Mulligan of Eternity" and just settled contently in fellowship within the trinity.
When you deeply consider God's FREE WILL to save us, love us and endure with us.... that is the question that should deeply prick humanity: why God does love us?
I'm amazed at the commitment of my wife's choice to be with me and it humbles me. It forces me to appreciate what she gave up to be with me. To that end, I have to say: I should be amazed at God, my God and superior being beyond the understanding of my mind, would pay attention to me and intervene to be a part of my life.
Yes, we should lay aside the 'lofty questions' of life in theology and our own personal considerations and wonder more at the question of: "How could God love me?". I know who I am: nothing, but God made me something.
I was looking at Michele this weekend and it occured to me: the gift of free will - choosing to bind yourself to someone.
Then it got me thinking - when we fail to see the GIFT of FREE WILL - we lose the humility and awe of it. What I mean is that the greatest experience a person can experience is another's will and desire to say, "I choose you."
It's a humbling consideration. Michele's choice out of all the men in the world to pledge her life to - she selected me. That's a humbling thought. I'm NOT the godliest, brightest, richest, or best-looking man out of a billion men out there. Love is NOT an entitlement.
BUT we do think love is an ENTITLEMENT, something we are owed. That's why we can complain about our spouses, or moan about their shortcomings because we lost sight of FREE WILL. We whine, complain because we now think we are ENTITLED to something. The mere endurance of our spouse with our weaknesses, our offenses alone should shake us back to a sense of humility: they love me out of FREE WILL.
We quickly forget about God in this manner too.
We will question and challenge God about alot of things - (Why is their suffering? Why does injustice happen children? Why do good people die? to which alot of these questions we don't have an answer for) but a greater question that we should consider is: Why does God love us?
God has a choice too - a free will.
Does he have to put up with the heartache, angst and short-comings we are to him? People automatically think God OWES them something. We are a whole earth of self-centered, self-loving lemmings thinking we are so loveable like puppies at pet fair. God MUST pick us and love us because we have so many good qualities! Oh what a childish consideration!!!
Did forget we've created a world where there is suffering, heartaches and misery around us? We offend so easily!
God should find very little to enjoy in our company - we are not his equal and never can be. We don't have sovereign right to say HE OWES us love, as we are to say in courtship with our spouses: you OWE ME your love.
Love is something most people think God owes us. When things don't go right, we blame God, we doubt Him, we accuse Him and we dare question Him. God is a superior being to us and we non-chalantly question him like a bickering spouse.
We can WIN the love our spouses, but there is nothing in us to 'win' God's love. God was the one who had to make the first step to WIN our love. It's like the hymn writer said, "We love him, because he first loved us."
God has a rightful choice to extinguish our existence by holding his breath from us. He could have started history from scratch, and pull the 'Mulligan of Eternity" and just settled contently in fellowship within the trinity.
When you deeply consider God's FREE WILL to save us, love us and endure with us.... that is the question that should deeply prick humanity: why God does love us?
I'm amazed at the commitment of my wife's choice to be with me and it humbles me. It forces me to appreciate what she gave up to be with me. To that end, I have to say: I should be amazed at God, my God and superior being beyond the understanding of my mind, would pay attention to me and intervene to be a part of my life.
Yes, we should lay aside the 'lofty questions' of life in theology and our own personal considerations and wonder more at the question of: "How could God love me?". I know who I am: nothing, but God made me something.
Jan 16, 2008
Zakiya
Ah, you might hear that name.
Zakiya.
Don't forget it.
She's one of my friends, and she's doing something we might be too afraid: pursuing her dreams.
Very proud of you kiddo. Do well.
Zakiya.
Don't forget it.
She's one of my friends, and she's doing something we might be too afraid: pursuing her dreams.
Very proud of you kiddo. Do well.
Jan 6, 2008
2007 What Michele and I crave, rave
As the year ends, Michele and I can't help but share some of the favorite things of 2007 that we've encountered.
We urge you to check out our vices, raves and craves.
NAPERVILLE LIBRARY - Been over a decade since I visited a libary, and now both Michele and I are hooked! We don't pay for cable so we check out FREE DVDs - History Channel to National Geographic channel. We've learned more not watching sugar TV. My morning commute ended up being a throughly enjoyable experience with FREE audiobooks on CD. A library - cheap, educational and it's like being a kid again!
MARK DRISCOLL - Pastor at Mars Hill Church. Favorite preacher, he's funny, culturally relevant and such a blessing in light of our faith. Michele half-kidded we should move to Seattle to help out the church. Yup, he's that used by God in our lives.
BEN AND JERRY'S YOGURT - Our sin, weakness, craving. Ben and Jerry's yogurt - Half baked and chocolate brownie. Must have it in the summer - every week. We don't share either...get your flippin' own!
EBAY - we sold items that we didn't need, found great prices on gifts for family, friends and ourselves. It's addicting to win a bid, but we save oodles of cash finding products up to 80% off. Yeh, your gift from us might be from there, but you DO FEEL GOOD we save money don't ya?
ING - We save money, and stretch our money and investments with Ing. Great customer service, secure website and financial transaction and how could you not love companies named after a fruit?
APPLE Macbook - Ok you Mac-haters, we don't care. We love it, it runs both XP and OSX and is cute, compact, fast and best of all - it works!!! Neener, neener. My wife is a Machead!
Whole FOODS - Must have daily life shopping! Michele and my favorite place to shop. The best food store in the U.S. bar none. High quality food on a scale and selection you only dreamt about. The ready to buy food bar is yummy, but pricey. We won't be in any city WITHOUT it.
ELILIE KRIEGER - One of our favorite FOOD NETWORK shows, Healthy Living with Ellie Krieger. She whips up healthy recipes and has a very pleasant personality.
We urge you to check out our vices, raves and craves.
NAPERVILLE LIBRARY - Been over a decade since I visited a libary, and now both Michele and I are hooked! We don't pay for cable so we check out FREE DVDs - History Channel to National Geographic channel. We've learned more not watching sugar TV. My morning commute ended up being a throughly enjoyable experience with FREE audiobooks on CD. A library - cheap, educational and it's like being a kid again!
MARK DRISCOLL - Pastor at Mars Hill Church. Favorite preacher, he's funny, culturally relevant and such a blessing in light of our faith. Michele half-kidded we should move to Seattle to help out the church. Yup, he's that used by God in our lives.
BEN AND JERRY'S YOGURT - Our sin, weakness, craving. Ben and Jerry's yogurt - Half baked and chocolate brownie. Must have it in the summer - every week. We don't share either...get your flippin' own!
EBAY - we sold items that we didn't need, found great prices on gifts for family, friends and ourselves. It's addicting to win a bid, but we save oodles of cash finding products up to 80% off. Yeh, your gift from us might be from there, but you DO FEEL GOOD we save money don't ya?
ING - We save money, and stretch our money and investments with Ing. Great customer service, secure website and financial transaction and how could you not love companies named after a fruit?
APPLE Macbook - Ok you Mac-haters, we don't care. We love it, it runs both XP and OSX and is cute, compact, fast and best of all - it works!!! Neener, neener. My wife is a Machead!
Whole FOODS - Must have daily life shopping! Michele and my favorite place to shop. The best food store in the U.S. bar none. High quality food on a scale and selection you only dreamt about. The ready to buy food bar is yummy, but pricey. We won't be in any city WITHOUT it.
ELILIE KRIEGER - One of our favorite FOOD NETWORK shows, Healthy Living with Ellie Krieger. She whips up healthy recipes and has a very pleasant personality.
'Britnalized' Across America - Pop culture
It's sad really.
It really is, Britney Spears lost custody of her two children, and was last seen with hordes of cameras following her on a stretcher.
She carried out on a stretcher because her attorney said, "...exhaustion", though some speculate alcohol or drug abuse.
I sighed, and shook my head sadly reading the article on my laptop.
It's another example of what I would say a person being "Britnalized" and what I mean that is being beat down by the trappings of wealth, fame and power.
A slippery slope that lures the unexpecting soul that these are the greatest things you can possess, but the costs are high. Take for example, any former female movie star out of the spotlight and older - now are suddenly splashed across supermarket tabloids showing the girth of their waistlines expanding and mocking that beauty has REALLY LEFT them.
You were once beautiful, but now the novelty of you grows old- the world will "Britnalize" you.
As a woman, you can't even grow old, or even enjoy food without having your mug splashed and being ridiculed and too many young people are chasing such values and patterning themselves after unrealistic manufactured pop icons, culture and values. It's a short life and you will be spit out when you are no longer media's darling. Think about it, these are people too, but for reasons of jealousy of their wealth the tabloids won't even let them grown old! People don't have bodies forever like they are teenagers. It's almost like there's a rule: you had your day in the sun, now we get ours by ripping you.
The book of Proverbs for me rings more strongly than ever. Wisdom does stand in the streets and cries that she offers abundant, joyful and fulfilling life to all who will listen. And woe, sorrow and despair to those who ignore her pleas.
What could be more despairing to a celebrity who has fame, fortune and power and yet feels the empty hollow void of the lack of 'something'. Tom Brady, 3-time Superbowl champion, "...there's gotta to be more than this. This can't be it. I wish someone would tell me."
Britney Spears, once worshipped by fans, now finds herself mocked, berated and the object of tabloid cruelty. She thought being married might filled the void, having kids might fill it, partying it up might fill it, but in the end you can't help but pray and pity her.
She's been "Britnalized'.
The world can be cruel, the devil truly does desire to destroy and Wisdom warns us to avoid this path. You will get moments of pleasure, but the fulfillment is as fleeting as a nice filet minion. You tasted it, but then it's gone. It's almost mocking really.
Your soul starves for more and you go on a search to find it, and realize the world doesn't love you for WHO YOU are, but what you are manufactured to be: a simple fantasy.
When that fantasy is over, you'll be spit out, ridiculed and you'll find soul damage that no amount of money, power, fame can heal.
There's a few celebrities that managed to avoid these trappings: Julia Roberts come to mind. When she was pregnant she loved it. She was out of shape, feeling bad, but she love her kids. Her love for her children took immediate priority over her career. She saw herself for what she really is, a woman with two kids WHO happens to be an actress. I give her alot of chops to balance that and she'll go down with the greats like a Betty Davis, and Audrey Hepburn.
One wishes to write a letter to Britney Spears to encourage her, and say set aside your career, your money, your fame - retreat and be a REAL person with me. Let me see your faults, you hurts, your worries and let me tell you someone does care about you for who you are...no matter what you done, whatever spot you have and realize they love you. God does that everyday and I hope for mercy that Britney and others like her stops and listens to the whisper of Heaven.
I can't but think about my future daughter.
She'll be loved because she's God's child and mine. A clever birth announcement announced a baby girl with, "Our daughter doesn't have a job, doesn't wear a bra, cries all the time, eats too much and must always enter the room as the center of attention, but we love her dearly."
Yes, we do love people simply for who they are. So does God.
It really is, Britney Spears lost custody of her two children, and was last seen with hordes of cameras following her on a stretcher.
She carried out on a stretcher because her attorney said, "...exhaustion", though some speculate alcohol or drug abuse.
I sighed, and shook my head sadly reading the article on my laptop.
It's another example of what I would say a person being "Britnalized" and what I mean that is being beat down by the trappings of wealth, fame and power.
A slippery slope that lures the unexpecting soul that these are the greatest things you can possess, but the costs are high. Take for example, any former female movie star out of the spotlight and older - now are suddenly splashed across supermarket tabloids showing the girth of their waistlines expanding and mocking that beauty has REALLY LEFT them.
You were once beautiful, but now the novelty of you grows old- the world will "Britnalize" you.
As a woman, you can't even grow old, or even enjoy food without having your mug splashed and being ridiculed and too many young people are chasing such values and patterning themselves after unrealistic manufactured pop icons, culture and values. It's a short life and you will be spit out when you are no longer media's darling. Think about it, these are people too, but for reasons of jealousy of their wealth the tabloids won't even let them grown old! People don't have bodies forever like they are teenagers. It's almost like there's a rule: you had your day in the sun, now we get ours by ripping you.
The book of Proverbs for me rings more strongly than ever. Wisdom does stand in the streets and cries that she offers abundant, joyful and fulfilling life to all who will listen. And woe, sorrow and despair to those who ignore her pleas.
What could be more despairing to a celebrity who has fame, fortune and power and yet feels the empty hollow void of the lack of 'something'. Tom Brady, 3-time Superbowl champion, "...there's gotta to be more than this. This can't be it. I wish someone would tell me."
Britney Spears, once worshipped by fans, now finds herself mocked, berated and the object of tabloid cruelty. She thought being married might filled the void, having kids might fill it, partying it up might fill it, but in the end you can't help but pray and pity her.
She's been "Britnalized'.
The world can be cruel, the devil truly does desire to destroy and Wisdom warns us to avoid this path. You will get moments of pleasure, but the fulfillment is as fleeting as a nice filet minion. You tasted it, but then it's gone. It's almost mocking really.
Your soul starves for more and you go on a search to find it, and realize the world doesn't love you for WHO YOU are, but what you are manufactured to be: a simple fantasy.
When that fantasy is over, you'll be spit out, ridiculed and you'll find soul damage that no amount of money, power, fame can heal.
There's a few celebrities that managed to avoid these trappings: Julia Roberts come to mind. When she was pregnant she loved it. She was out of shape, feeling bad, but she love her kids. Her love for her children took immediate priority over her career. She saw herself for what she really is, a woman with two kids WHO happens to be an actress. I give her alot of chops to balance that and she'll go down with the greats like a Betty Davis, and Audrey Hepburn.
One wishes to write a letter to Britney Spears to encourage her, and say set aside your career, your money, your fame - retreat and be a REAL person with me. Let me see your faults, you hurts, your worries and let me tell you someone does care about you for who you are...no matter what you done, whatever spot you have and realize they love you. God does that everyday and I hope for mercy that Britney and others like her stops and listens to the whisper of Heaven.
I can't but think about my future daughter.
She'll be loved because she's God's child and mine. A clever birth announcement announced a baby girl with, "Our daughter doesn't have a job, doesn't wear a bra, cries all the time, eats too much and must always enter the room as the center of attention, but we love her dearly."
Yes, we do love people simply for who they are. So does God.
Jan 5, 2008
A reflection dedicated to my wife
I've read stories that I thought were only meant to be read in the libraries.
Stories I thought only existed in the imagination of writers of tales and story books.
Stories that begin with, "A long time ago..." of some beautiful girl who comes to some fortunate boy's life. Chapter after chapter I would read, but it wasn't for me.
Page after page, paragraph after paragraph they were stories that come true for others, but never me.
Until that day...my story came came true.
...that story, of THAT one, of a boy who sees HER, and he's walking on clouds.
...that one a boy meets and he becomes a knight fighting again.
...that one a boy meets and he's wanting to be a hero again.
...that one a boys meets and he finds strength to swim the ocean.
...that one a boy meets and he finds himself a man with her.
I thought they were stories until I met you my Michele.
One chapter was seeing your smile that cause me to read me about Life,
Another chapter seeing your heart, and feeling your touch...
And that chapter of seeing you walk to me, as my bride.
It was a the most beautiful chapter I've read.
Now, the story, the words doesn't end there,
I see the penmanship of the Master writing a new story every day,
The days you wait and greet me to the days you pray for me,
Or the days where you lay sleeping soundly and I gaze in wonder ...
that angels do fall from heaven to be with mortals.
My chapter begins with you, and I write this book of Life of ours with you and God.
Words we write together in our book will be of faith, love, truth, devotion and strength.
Endearingly, lovingly yours,
Gordon
Stories I thought only existed in the imagination of writers of tales and story books.
Stories that begin with, "A long time ago..." of some beautiful girl who comes to some fortunate boy's life. Chapter after chapter I would read, but it wasn't for me.
Page after page, paragraph after paragraph they were stories that come true for others, but never me.
Until that day...my story came came true.
...that story, of THAT one, of a boy who sees HER, and he's walking on clouds.
...that one a boy meets and he becomes a knight fighting again.
...that one a boy meets and he's wanting to be a hero again.
...that one a boys meets and he finds strength to swim the ocean.
...that one a boy meets and he finds himself a man with her.
I thought they were stories until I met you my Michele.
One chapter was seeing your smile that cause me to read me about Life,
Another chapter seeing your heart, and feeling your touch...
And that chapter of seeing you walk to me, as my bride.
It was a the most beautiful chapter I've read.
Now, the story, the words doesn't end there,
I see the penmanship of the Master writing a new story every day,
The days you wait and greet me to the days you pray for me,
Or the days where you lay sleeping soundly and I gaze in wonder ...
that angels do fall from heaven to be with mortals.
My chapter begins with you, and I write this book of Life of ours with you and God.
Words we write together in our book will be of faith, love, truth, devotion and strength.
Endearingly, lovingly yours,
Gordon
For my future daughter
***
New Year's Day
Can a couple be more dull? Michele and I ate coconut macaroons and watched "Pregnancy for Dummies".
But I suppose it's better than being drunk and plastered on a blog site on the internet right?
There is alot of apprehension of pregnancy and the potential hurdles that might come our way, but the joy of being a father, and someone to watch over something precious of yours is simply indescribable.
A child is a miracle and gift from God indeed.
While I can - before the realities of no sleep, diaper changes, food worries, money worries - I decided to dedicate this song to my future daughter. You are already beautiful in my eyes, and I've already dedicated you to the God. May you richly find that life has much to offer, that God is gracious and merciful to all who come on Him.
You are our precious.
New Year's Day
Can a couple be more dull? Michele and I ate coconut macaroons and watched "Pregnancy for Dummies".
But I suppose it's better than being drunk and plastered on a blog site on the internet right?
There is alot of apprehension of pregnancy and the potential hurdles that might come our way, but the joy of being a father, and someone to watch over something precious of yours is simply indescribable.
A child is a miracle and gift from God indeed.
While I can - before the realities of no sleep, diaper changes, food worries, money worries - I decided to dedicate this song to my future daughter. You are already beautiful in my eyes, and I've already dedicated you to the God. May you richly find that life has much to offer, that God is gracious and merciful to all who come on Him.
You are our precious.
2007 Christmas
Thought I throw in some pics of this past Christmas.
When i get a chance, I'll have to edit our videos.