May 11, 2009

Mother's Day tears

It was Sunday morning, Mother's Day at our church.

All the kids were lining up do their special performance, and I saw 1/3 of my 2nd grade class up there.

One of the girls starts waving in our direction. There she was with glasses, shoulder-length hair, a ball of enthusiasm and a bright smile shrugging her shoulders constantly like a 2nd grader should. She was among my 'favorites' because she reminded me so much of the daughter I might have had. The glasses, the personality and the smile.

My wife looked at each other and behind us: the girl's parents were not behind us but far left to us.

Then I realized it: the girl was waving to us.

I started to wee - I knew in my heart that I lost a little girl. For some reason, I knew it was my little girl.

My thoughts turned to wife: she was suppose to be a mother on this day, instead she would watch other mother's being appreciated and we would be just a married couple.

I knew it was hard for her, but when that little girl waved to me I wept because it was as if God said, "I know your loss."

Through that little girl waving to us, I felt like my little girl was waving down to me from heaven.

Michele wept seeing a girl dancing around the church at the end of the time. She whispered to me, "She's so happy running and dancing. I see our child doing that in heaven."

To my little girl: when I look to heaven - daddy knew you waved at him. Thanks sweetie-pie.