Some people asked me, ' Why do you believe in God?'.
Because deep down I know there's more to life than the grave, or sorrow. It's simply not NATURAL.
If death was 'natural' and an accepted fate - we would never sorrow. It's just part of life like gravity, right?
Sorrows are always accompanied by, "It shouldn't be like this.." or some debate against the reality of it. I cannot accept death of a baby or the tragic death of young life cut short because that's the way the 'dice rolls'.
The diced rolled in my table and I don't like it.
For me, 2009 was a year of sorrows.
I almost lost my wife, we lost two pregnancies and following the last loss - we spent Thanksgiving holiday in the hospital. The day we found out we lost our baby, while we were delivering soup to a sick family we got hit by a hit-and-run driver. (We made soup as a distraction to keep busy with the loss our child.)
I thought I would close 2009 with a renewed expectation of hope, but instead I am waiting on my dad's surgery. He had a stroke and then recovered and later this afternoon was rushed to an emergency eight hour surgery unexpectedly.
I am confronting fears, anxieties I never thought I would face. I know God never said, "Let me in and troubles will never come." but I never thought I would face this much in one year. I am blessed by the grace of God through my church family and my wife. The prayers and support of people are the only thing keeping me. Even as a I write this there's a peace that surpasses my understanding because of a hidden spiritual dimension force.
I write this for my family, and my future children. Troubles will come. This life will cause grief and challenges.
But there is hope. The hope one day sorrows will be erased and tears will be dried. It's an expectation I look forward to one day. I know there's a heaven because I cannot accept death as 'that's the way it is'. That's why we fight to stay alive, it's unnatural.
One day I will rise again and I will greet my two children of 2009.