Michele was getting ready for surgery.
I looked at her, and just before her parents arrived I looked at her and I found my eyes welling with tears. I whispered, "You've been through so much."
My heart hurt for just a moment. Last time I almost lost her and this time we find ourselves in the hospital once again.
Then the thought dawn on me - I wanted 2009 to end in happiness because my wife is awesome.
No, she's never been one to want 'shine in the spotlight' but very few people know the pure gold this woman truly is. Yes, every husband SHOULD say that about their wives, but I've been fortunate to glimpse into the beauty of her soul.
Michele certainly has her grandmother's faith. A quiet, noble, dignify spirit about her. She rarely draws attention to herself, but deep down there is a passionate woman about things that matter her. I love watching her eyes blaze about issues that she cares deeply about or situations related to injustices. There's a tough realist in her which if you ever pout, or whine you'll find little sympathy but a swift butt kick to get your act together.
Yet, when poverty or the cold winter of life cause tragic or trials to a person you'll never guess she was behind those prayers for you. Those thoughts and that heart beseeching on your behalf - I've seen my wife quietly pray over her list of people ranging from cancer fighters to people who just need a hug from God.
My wife is the reason for 'crazy giving': I've seen her sacrifice so she can send more money to children. My wife will give up whatever it takes to give and in our marriage she has been the heartbeat of us a couple to charity we support. What we gave in some years caused me to pee my pants like a first grader, but her continual faithfulness and wisdom have brought us financial stability because of her we live a more balanced life of not spending money on things that don't matter.
Michele through out this trial never compromised her faith. She has been stronger than even me. She whispered to me, "We have the joy of the Lord." That statement is startling because I've seen her humanity and faith mixed, but her integrity of our faith and what is true has never been shaken. She's more than ready to admit we need something more than 'inner strength' in life. Her inner character just blew me away this year. She has a strength that is like a flower upon a windy hill bending but not breaking. This year I've leaned on her for comfort and strength.
My wife is strong and consistent, but she's not as predictable as you think: twice in my life she shocked me. One was the year after we're married and we were talking about vacationing and her eyes sparkled like a child as she smirked, "Let's see if we can get into a cage and play with the Great White." The only "Great White" I know was the meat-loving predator that inspired fear with it's razor teeth and supreme hunting skills: SHARK. Yup, when most dudes would just make a mess in their pants my wife wants to snuggle up with a killer for vacation. The other thing that she wanted to do before she got pregnant was doing the most crazy thing: jumping out of a perfectly mechanically-sound plane for fun. Yup, skydiving.
In all this, the trials have d stripped the distractions of life and put a clarity in my vision of my wife.
She's a great gift. People look at us and may see me in the spotlight, but she's the better half of our marriage. She hides my flaws and makes me look good. I honestly know what a privilege, and honor it is to be her husband. She quietly loves me without pomp or circumstance: for crying out, this woman is so careful with our money she refused to buy clothes to save money. She wore the same jeans since college, and I'm sure she looks just as lovely as she is now as then. I finally put my foot down and said with a smile, "We are going out with several hundred dollars to update your wardrobe sweetie because you deserve it and you need some pampering."
I'm very fortunate she came into my life. That's why the monthly flowers, the little notes and butterfly kisses I give is just a small token of my deep, deep gratitude of blessing this amazing woman is to me.
Michele Ann, you are amazing, and as I keep this blog alive for our kids and our grandchildren may it continually be a testament to the world of who we are and what holds us together.
**